The Life Changer

When you have learning difficulties or other disabilities that affect how you perceive the world, does it make a difference whether your teacher is trained in special education?

Throughout my grammar school years, the teachers almost always said they had special ed training.  I don’t know why they said that.  Maybe they wanted to convey a good image or give a sense of security to us. They told my parents they’d taken courses and had special training to deal with children with learning and social difficulties.  It was a regular grammar school that had no connection to special education per se.  In fact, I think I might have been the first disabled student they’d ever had.  They didn’t even know they were supposed to provide me with a variety of resources and assistance.  And we didn’t know either.

We found out finally and eventually, my parents managed to enlighten them albeit with a fight; it seems they felt threatened when my parents notified them that I had certain rights they were supposed to address such as an assistant to help me with the logistics of a school day and with understanding the lessons. I guess they knew they should have known and should have been giving all that assistance and weren’t. So maybe they were worried that if they agreed I deserved those things, we’d make trouble for them for not providing it all those years.  But my parents just wanted me to get the help I needed.

With all that, almost every year, my teacher assured me and my parents that she was specially qualified to deal with me and my needs.   One of my problems was dealing with the other kids. I really didn’t understand what they wanted from me or how to get along.  I was naïve. I didn’t understand social cues or even kids’ demonstrative behavior.  For example, when a kid would slap me on the back, I didn’t understand that it was a gesture of affection. Instead I was sure I was being hit.

Now I look back and ask myself, where were my teachers? Those wonderful special ed trained ladies who said they were well prepared to deal with a special needs student. They never paid attention and if they did, their input never made a difference – never made things better.

At the end of grammar school, I was invited to go through a screening process to ascertain what would be the best school to attend for Jr. High.  We were given a few options and settled on a special ed class within a regular school.  This was the middle ground solution.  At one end was a regular school where they would create a special study plan for me.  AT the other end was a special education school where every student there was in some way special needs.  This middle of the road option seemed like it would give me every opportunity.

It turned out that we were right. When I got to junior high school, that living nightmare of being alone when confronted by kids I didn’t’ understand came to an end. I was put in a class with a teacher who was trained to educate kids with special needs….FINALLY! We had no idea how big a difference it could make.

All of my classmates had special needs, mostly emotional. Typically, in 7th grade I got into quarrels with them.  But now there was a teacher who knew what to do. Suddenly, ‘for some reason’, things started to go more smoothly. She was able to help me feel really god about myself when dealing with the conflicts with the other kids.  She was very warm and supportive and knew how to acknowledge my attributes that went unnoticed in grammar school.

I was really happy that I said things that made her day. She helped me overcome doubts in myself for what I might have done wrong in any situation. Moreover, even when I had conflicts with other teachers and I was in the wrong, she still helped me in every way possible with all the sympathy in the world.

But the thing I treasure from her the most is her teaching. She was the first teacher I understood.  It was the first time I was able to really remember what was taught. She taught me everything from Hebrew literature to stories in American literature and Israeli and European history. I fell in love with stories by such famous authors as Oh Henry and Guy de Maupassant who wrote the story The Necklace.  And I was a person who NEVER read literature!

This teacher changed my life forever. She taught me that I could learn. That I could get along with people and that teachers can really care.

I have stayed in touch with her since leaving the school in 2005.  She came to my big solo performance for my music performance exam last year.  She’ll always be very important to me. And I will always be grateful for what she has given me.

Thanks Rommy.

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